Birthday Boy
by SexayPirate
Summary: It's Remus's birthday and Sirius has a few...surprises for him.
1. Waking Up

Title : A Birthday To Remember

Rated: M for mature…rite?

Ships: RL/SB, HP?

Summary: It's Sirius's birthday…and it seems he's expecting some major presents.

Chapter 1: Waking Up

Remus's eyes fluttered open. The sun hadn't risen yet and everything was still cast in shadows. But…what had woken him up?

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP, MOONY!"

Oh…that.

Remus sighed. He threw the pillow over his head and tried to ignore the overly excited Sirius screaming in his ear.

_Ah…the sound of sweet silence._

Then he sensed a large object hurling itself at him. On instinct, he rolled sharply to the left, only to look up into a mess of shaggy, handsome hair. It seemed that Sirius had taken a flying leap off the foot of the bed, only to miss his intended target. You would think that a blow to the stomach would dampen his spirits, but…

"Moooooony! It's your birthday! I promised to take you out!"

Remus groaned into his pillow. He _had_ promised to take him out to explore the Muggle views. He rolled over to check the time. The glowing digits seemed to be mocking him as they flashed "4:53 A.M."

"Where the hell would we want to go at five in the freaking morning!"

Remus growled, swatting at Sirius with his pillow.

"Ooh, you're grumpy when you're awakened." He grinned evilly, " Me likey. It makes you all hot and bothered.." Another bout of evil laughter erupted from him.

He leaned in closer to Remus's face, their noses practically touching and breathed,

"Wake up….for me?" A puppy face followed.

Remus sighed inwardly as his nose was attacked by the smell of minty-freshness and the cologne that was so indescribably Sirius. God…he smelled heavenly. And that voice…so husky and masculine. The words "sexy beast" came into mind. He remembered the low, lust-covered voice that Sirius used last night, delirious in pleasure, his eyes turning misty grey. Amber eyes snapped open. Someone was going the right way for a cold shower. He mentally shook himself, only to stare right into said pair of grey eyes.

If only they weren't fixed upon him with such an intense glare. If only they hadn't been threatening to tear up. If only, Moony reasoned to himself, they didn't sparkle with mischief and ooze with sex at the same time, he would have been able to resist. But…no. He was doomed to wake up at an ungodly hour just to please his lover. Sirius had an unreasonable amount of power over him and god, did he know how to use it.

Remus rolled over on his back, only to find Sirius instantly sprawled all over him, effectively pinning him down.

"Mmph."

"Don't you want me to take you out? Don't you like spending time together, Remmy? Don't you love me?" Sirius leaned forward with each question, bringing him closer to Remus's face.

_God…Whoever the hell decided to give him that voice should be shot and hung. Merlin, makes me want to…_

He was jerked out of his thoughts when he found Sirius's hips covering his, leaving them in a very…eh…pleasurable position.

"Remmy…" Sirius lips were rubbing against his, positioned in a pout all the while.

A feral growl escaped from him. He licked his lips.

"God, Sirius. You know you can't do this so close to the full moon. I-I might lose control."

Those tantalizing hips…He fisted the blankets, desperately trying to keep his hands to himself. The things he would do to him.

"You know, I love it when you're like this. Trying to keep control, but _failing so miserably_." Each word was emphasized by an effective roll of the hips.

Sirius grinned smugly when a trembling hand found its way to his shoulder, tightening when he executed another well-calculated grind against the warm body beneath him.

"W-what happened to leaving early?"

"Who said I woke you up early so we could leave early? I might have just wanted to have my wicked way with you."

Sirius tossed his head and exposed his neck, causing the werewolf in Remus to take over. Amber eyes turned to a glittering gold, and a loud howl escaped him.

"Mine…" He growled, pinning Sirius to the bed.

I'm open to any constructive criticism. This is my first fanfiction ever, and I hope you guys really enjoyed it. Any ideas to what you want in the next chapter? These are meant to be short…I can't write long stories…


	2. Sexiest Man Alive?

Title: Birthday Boy

Rating: M (for mature right?)

Ships: SB/RL, HP?

Summary: It's Remus's birthday and it seems that Sirius has a surprise for him…

Just a note here…eh…No money was made off the production of this fanfiction…though many muses were harmed in the process. I own nothing, besides my own original sarcasm, of which the cup overrunneth, and the not-so-trusty laptop on which I am writing this. Also, may no Americans be offended by this chapter. I can't resist making fun of my own people wink wink I was in hysterics in Finding Nemo when the shark said "Must've been _American_." Enjoy!

Chapter 2: Sexiest Man Alive?

Harry leaned against the kitchen counter-top, a mug of coffee in hand. It was Remus's birthday today and Sirius had made him promise to help with their "Muggle Tour". It seemed that Sirius had made a rather empty promise at some point or another and realized that there was no better time than the present to start actually keeping his word. Surprise, surprise.

"Sightseeing, in bloody London? Bloody hell, have they never looked out their bleeding window? They've lived here longer than I have, for bugger's sake."

Harry impatiently brushed long black bangs out of his eyes. After the war, he had gone to America for a much needed "vacation" of sorts. He decided to chase a Seeker opening in a rather well-known American Quidditch team. It seemed like the perfect chance to get some sun and get away from everything that reminded him of the War while finding a future for himself.

"Well, what do you expect from Sirius and Remus? I highly doubt either one of them has pulled away from the other long enough to have actually stepped away from the bed."

Harry smiled. He had met up with the love of his life before he left for America. They had secretly come to terms after the war, even though each had been on separate sides. They were also going in separate _ways_ but after a night of wine-sipping a.k.a. getting wicked drunk, secrets were told, feelings were revealed, and it was decided that they would both go to America. The coastal sun of California had given Harry quite a tan. It made him stand out terribly in England and many mistook him for an American tourist. How insulting.

Harry set his mug aside and pulled his lover closer, enjoying the warmth of the lean figure.

"Mmm, rather like you and I, eh?" A seductive smile.

"Perhaps." A curl of the lips.

Harry ran his eyes up and down the figure appreciatively. The two years spent in The States had not affected his lover in the least. Always rather proud of his fair skin, he scowled when Harry howled with laughter after comparing their skin tones. God, how he would glare at the next person to compare chocolate to Snape's arse. He was built, but not bulky in the least. God, those tight, tight, black jeans…Even Harry couldn't resist licking his lips.

"Like what you see?" He raised an eyebrow.

"More than you know." Harry grinned placing a soft kiss on his nose.

"What do you think? Sexiest person alive?"

"Nope." Harry casually walked away, picking up his coffee once more.

He made his way toward the fireplace, sashaying his hips in a tantalizing manner.

"What? You little…" He grabbed Harry's wrist.

Harry twisted away laughing at his lover's indignance.

"May I remind you, dear sir, that there is nothing little about me." He gave an impish grin.

His lover followed him around the room in what seemed like a hunt between predator and prey. That is…if the prey had smoked something particularly good recently, and if the predator was fighting the natural laws of animal magnetism.

Harry was cornered. He knew there was no way out, but he had to try. Maybe, if he ducked into the fireplace to the right of him, he could pull off a magnificent escape. He inched to the right.

"Oh, no you don't." He pushed Harry to the wall, his body pinning him against the brick wall. No one noticed as the empty coffee mug fell to the floor, shattering into pieces.

"So…who _is_ the sexiest man alive?" He breathed into Harry's ear, nibbling gently on his ear lobe.

Silence.

"I do believe I have just rendered you speechless. What is the world coming to these days? Harry…could it be? You're getting old."

Harry snorted, shaking his head.

_Old?_ _I'll show you old…_

He brought his hands up slowly, resting them on the crisp, just-ironed shirt-clad chest in front of him.

"Umm…well…" He eased his lover backwards, so slowly that he doubted the other realized they were moving.

"Umm…well…what? Ah!" The back of his knees hit the arm of the sofa, tipping them both over.

Harry was perched on the top, one knee to each side of the slim waist, looking all too much like a cat that had just tripped another loser. Well, technically speaking, he _had_ done just that. His emerald eyes sparkled in mischief.

"Well…the sexiest man alive is…"

He was cut off by the sound of someone, or rather someones, flooing in.

"Why is it only wrong when _we_ can't keep our hands off each other, Moony?"

Guessed Harry's lover yet? If you haven't…I'm sorry…you're daft…like Jack. I'd like to thank all my kind reviewers. And lotrobsession…it was Jack Sparrow to who I was referring to. Any suggestions as to the next chapter? I'm sorry, mates, but I'm absolutely atrocious when it comes to straight romance. I don't know why…


	3. Of Pubes and Ice Trays

Title: Birthday Boy

Rating: Mature

Ships: Does it really matter?

- Thanks to Hotaru-san. I think my British usage might have improved somewhat since the last time I wrote. I spent three weeks with my British cousin. Never ever heard them say bloody…I'm so disappointed. They used wicked though….wicked! Sorry for taking so long to update. Started reading Sparrington and got hopelessly addicted. Oops! -

Chapter 3: Must've Been…American

Harry blushed fiercely, reminding Sirius of the time he caught Ron and Hermione snogging in the broom closet. Lip wrestling like he never saw before…amazing.

"Because, we, unlike you, can manage a few words of civilized conversation with other people between our passionate animal frenzies." Draco smoothed his disheveled hair, seeming to apologize for its rough treatment.

"At least I don't try to answer the phone during our 'animal frenzies'."

Harry choked.

"You guys knew and you didn't tell me?" His indignant face brought another bout of laughter from Sirius. His laughter rendered him unable to speak for a while.

"Nobody tries to cover up a moan with a cough, Harry." Remus spoke up quietly, smiling calmly at Harryas if they were discussing the weather.

Draco snorted, obviously remembering the incident.

"Allergies…in winter. Brilliant."

"It was lame!" Sirius crowed, tears of mirth leaking from the corner of his eyes. He wiped them away roughly with his shirtsleeve. "What were you two young people talking about anyways, before we so rudely interrupted."

Draco shot him a cocky grin and opened his mouth to retort. He was stopped by Harry's warning glare.

"Not a word."

"Telling me what to do, Potter?"

"Say it, and I'll tell them about Pansy in the locker room."

Draco's grin faltered and his eyes widened in disbelief.

"You wouldn't."

"You know how much I love telling that story." Harry's green eyes glittered, his tone jovial. "Anything to spark up a lovely conversation during breakfast." His lips set back into a firm line. "Not a word."

Remus and Sirius shared a look. Ah, young love. Reminded them of themselves about…two hours ago. Sirius gave Remus a wicked look, wiggling his eyebrows with fervor. Remus sighed. Spending his entire school career with Sirius did have its perks. In Sirius Code, wiggling your eyebrow could been thousands of things. One: Let's have a go at it in the dark corner. Two: Let's spell Severus' nose hairs into the colors of the rainbow. (And God knows he has a lot of it) But right now, it seemed to mean, "Let's wreak havoc and make Harry and Draco's lives hell!" Joy.

"Hareeee." Sirius fluttered his eyelashes at Harry, his smoky grey eyes emanating innocence.

Harry's goosebumps raised as the impression of Fleur Delacor swept across the room. Even Draco had to wince.

"Sirius." Harry's eyes narrowed, experience teaching him to be on guard.

"Remember that promise you made me?"

"What…promise?"

Sirius feigned hurt. His hands fluttered in an exaggerated movement toward his heart.

"The promise you made on your father's grave, on the essence of your being, on your manhood! On your magic, soul, and life, the one and only promise slash favor that I have ever, ever asked for from my beloved Godson, and he tells me '_what, promise'_?"

Harry's eye twitched.

"First of all, my father doesn't have a grave. Second, don't say manhood. It's wrong and its disgusting. And one promise?" Harry trailed off, Remus and Draco's snickers explaining it all for him.

"One promise!" Sirius declared, indignant. "You just _try_ to name another one."

"Well…what about that time Remus stuck your pubes to the ice tray because you insulted him at his time of month? Who was it that held your hand and ripped_it_ from whence it was firmly implanted? Who couldn't write for a month afterwards, having to purchase one of those, trashy Rita Skeeter quills to compensate for my handicap? You know how much trouble that stupid quill got me into? I got stuck with him!" Harry scowled at Draco, pointing an accusing finger at Sirius.

Sirius's hands went to his crotch.

"Good God, that was hell."

They all looked at Remus. He stood in the corner with his arm crossed, an amused smile playing at his lips.

"Lilly tutored me in Charms."

Sirius's eyes darted to Harry's, catching the flash of happiness that shown there as his mother's name was mentioned. Draco shifted uncomfortably, sensing the change in the atmosphere.

"Anyways!" Sirius burst out, clapping his hands together. "You and You," He gestured at Harry and Draco, "Are taking us," He gestured at Remus and himself, "on a tour."

Harry cringed. Oh yeah…that promise.

"You've been in this sunless, God-forsaken place longer than we have. By all rights, you should be taking us on this bloody tour." Draco scowled.

Remus wandered off to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"My sentiments exactly!" Harry nodded emphatically.

The wicked gleam returned to Sirius's eyes. Draco and Harry found themselves taking an unwilling step backwards.

"Who says we're taking a tour of Europe?"

! Yea, I know. Real short. Not my fault. Drank way too much soda at a class party. So sue me, sue me, what can you do me? I LOOOOOOVE you! Thanks for the reviews lovely reader, all three of you. But why's the rum gone!


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